Doctor Who and the Giant Jelly Baby
by Anjion
Summary: The 4th Doctor finds himself on Earth, recounting one of his strangest foes to a class of young children (complete with sound effects!) The only character I own is the Giant Jelly Baby!


The Doctor looked down at the crowd of small children sat at his feet, all gazing expectantly up at him. He couldn't recall arriving here, but he supposed he must have offered or agreed to entertain the children. He twiddled the ends of his long scarf for a moment as he considered his position, and reached up to take his hat off, revealing his unruly curls. He smiled suddenly as a flash of inspiration hit him; he grinned fondly at the children, took a deep breath and began.

"It wasn't that long ago that I encountered one of my more unusual foes. I can't remember where, though … but that doesn't matter – "He stopped, aware that he needed to keep the story flowing in order to keep the children interested.

"I was alone (my friend Sarah Jane, had returned to Earth) and I decided to visit some far-off, unknown planet. It was a pleasant little place, with huge, ultra-modern houses, beautiful scenery, wonderful people (very trusting); I even met some of the ruler's family… Anyway, one of the natives leant me his home while he went off to visit his family. One day, I was sitting in the living room, trying to fix some gadget or another – I forget what exactly – when I heard a most peculiar noise. I went to investigate, but found nothing. But the sound came again, and again I went to look, but again, nothing. When I went out a _third _time, I still found nothing, but when I came _back_…" he paused for effect, glancing down at the sea of faces; every one had a look of both doubt and excited anticipation on it.

"When I came _back_," he continued, "I found myself face to face (or rather, face to knee) with a _huge_ great Jelly Baby! It was _enormous_!"

"What colour was it?" enquired a small voice, somewhat urgently. The Doctor looked around until his blue eyes settled on a small boy of about 5, with golden curls, who was waving a hand in the air.

"It was red," the Doctor told him, smiling inwardly at the boy's curiosity. The lad gave a relieved, satisfied smile and lowered his hand. The Doctor continued.

"So, I found myself confronted by this giant Jelly Baby, which was clearly angry and making dreadful noises, a bit like this –" he screwed up his face, clenched his fists and emitted a sort of strangled roar, causing the children to jump, "_RAAAAGH! RAAAAGH!_ Or something like that. I tried to talk to it, but it either didn't understand or didn't want to, because it just kept roaring at me, and then it began to chase me. In a normal house, that might have been hard, for the beast was at least the height of an average room and more besides; it would have had to bend over to get anywhere. But in the house I was borrowing, the ceilings were _very _high, so the Jelly Baby had no trouble at all. Luckily, though, I was faster, and I got up the stairs. Again I tried to reason with it, but again it just roared at me – _RAAAAGH! RAAAAGH!_" He grinned wickedly as he saw the kids jump simultaneously, but was nevertheless relieved when they grinned in enjoyment rather than getting upset.

"So I looked for a way to defeat it. Being nothing but jelly, I couldn't hurt it by throwing things at it. (I tried, but to no avail). My sonic screwdriver didn't affect it, as it had no brain to affect. I ran along the landing, but found myself at a dead end; there was a large hole in the walkway, and the only available door led to a small balcony, no more. But then I noticed a control panel on the wall of the walkway on the other side of the hole and, in desperation, I sonicked it. I was quite surprised when a thin but evidently robust platform slid out from underneath the opposite walkway to bridge the gap. That gave me an idea. I crossed over, pressed the button to make the platform retract again, and called to the beast, which had been trying to tackle the stairs. I got its attention, and started to goad it, making it obvious that it could reach me through the gap in the floor. So it stopped attempting the stairs and ambled (quickly) towards me. It finally reached the gap and put its head up between the walkways, trying to grab me in its teeth which, while still jelly, looked very fierce and very sharp. As soon as it was there, I activated the platform again, and kept the beast distracted as the shelf slid across. By the time the giant realised it had walked into a trap, it was too late, and the thin, sharp platform cut its head clean off!" He glanced down again, and was pleased to see the happy disgust on every upturned face. This was evidently the type of story the youngsters enjoyed. So he continued.

"Without a head, the Jelly Baby couldn't possibly continue to live. The last sound it made was something like this –" he screwed up his eyes and clenched his fists again, but this time, instead of adopting an expression of anger, he gave a grimace of – not pain, exactly, more like dismay at defeat – and gave another long, drawn-out, strangled howl. "_RAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!_" The children laughed at the poor Jelly Baby's demise, prompting the Doctor to repeat the sound effect, to their delight, before continuing.

"So now I had a headless giant Jelly Baby to deal with. I managed to get it inside, but I didn't know what to do with it. So I did the obvious thing and decided to eat it. It took me three weeks to finish the head, and I _still _haven't finished it! In fact," he added, pulling a plate out from the folds of his long coat, "I brought some along to share with you!"

As the children clustered around him for a piece of the sticky red bounty, the Doctor gazed fondly at them. He loved children, he reflected, and maybe _this_ was the reason why he loved this little planet Earth so much.


End file.
